Opening the door of Sanctuary provided an even greater change in atmosphere. A great sense of peace greeted me. A few candles and lights provided the way to a seat somewhere near the front. If you were careful enough not to move, you could almost feel the air holding you as if a gentle force had pushed it there and continued to hold it there as well.
I sat there quietly in my own thoughts waiting for the service to begin when I began to cry uncontrollably. What was this? Was I feeling sad? Overwhelmed with joy? Confused? At the time I wasn't sure what to make of it; I simply knew that I pretty much cried from the moment I sat down until the moment I left, with some meditating, praying, and singing thrown in for good measure.
Today, after having time to collect myself I know exactly what the crying was... Unconditional Love. I have been to many churches in many places, but I stand here as a witness to tell you that our Church is truly a special and remarkable place. It is a holy place. It is a caring place. A place of love and joy. It is a home for God, and believe me he lives in our halls. His presence, His unconditional love and the warmth of it is why I cried.
Somewhere in the evening, during a meditation, I had a vision; a truly remarkable vision that lasted a split-second but was filled with details: In some desert, there was a cross and upon this cross was Jesus. People were standing around watching him and whispering their doubts about him to one another. "If he is the Son of God, then why does God allow him to be crucified?", I heard one voice ask.
Upon my arrival at the foot of the cross, I knew it was Jesus. I screamed at the people, "What are you all doing? Why are you letting this happen? Help me! Someone help me get Him down!!!" After a few moments some of the men and women had come forward to help me. They cut some ropes and pulled Jesus from the cross, lowering him down gently into my arms.
His body laid heavily to the ground. I buckled to my knees to gently lower him down. I knelt there holding Jesus in front of me. I could see the pain and destruction of his body. His eyes were dim. I just remember feeling a panic and asking myself, "Why is this happening? Why must this happen?!"
I begged Jesus to let me take his place, knowing my faults and unworthiness to replace Him, still I begged and pleaded. How can I let such a good man, the Son of God perish, while I live with all my faults for the world to see. He gathered strength to answer my question and simply said, "This is the way it must be."
I stared into his eyes for what seemed an eternity and saw the sadness for the hatred men do to one another. I felt the sadness. Mankind can be a horrible species when left ungoverned. A terrible regret for the evil of mankind washed over me. I apologized over and over, "I'm sorry, Jesus. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the wickedness of mankind. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive us, I am sorry." Over and over I begged his forgiveness for all of us, over and over until he perished in my arms.
In that moment the vision was broken. The meditation was broken to the sound of our song ending. It was the smallest of seconds and yet so big. And in that moment I forgave my enemies. I forgave those who have mistreated me. I forgave those who shouldn't be forgiven. I found a sense of peace never before dreamt of by myself. If Jesus can have no hatred for those who took his life, then I can have none for those who try and take mine.
I strongly encourage anyone who reads this to attend our evening prayer and meditation services. If you are not a member, come anyway. I don't know what you will experience but it will be with Him. Praise God and praise Jonathan for bringing us his love. Sanctuary is for all of His children. We are all the chosen few, if we just accept Him.
So exciting to SEE God working in you, Dave. In your whole family. Thank you for sharing it with us!! Blessings!!
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